andrew fitzgerald

McChrystal’s secret strategy

There’s been a lot of noise about Gen. Stanley McChrystal’s Obama-badmouthing candor with Rolling Stone, but besides perhaps Colson Whitehead (“I didn’t know they had truffle fries in Afghanistan”), Andrew Fitzgerald at Current has distilled it to its essence better than anyone on the net: first substance (“Focusing on the few controversial remarks misses the point of this RS McChrystal piece. Really tough look at Afg.”), then snark (“Let’s say McChrystal is fired… How long before he shows up as a commentator on FNC? Is it months? Weeks? Hours?”).

When I saw this last tweet, I had an epiphany. All the commentators and journalists were wondering how McChrystal could have let this bonehead, 99%-sure-to-cost-your-job move happen. Did he think he was talking off the record? Was he blowing off steam? Did he think no one would find out? And if he wanted to trash the administration publicly, why in the world would did he give this info to Rolling Stone? I mean, did he even see Almost Famous? (Is Obama Billy Crudup? I kind of think he is.)

But let’s just suppose that this was McChrystal’s intention all along. I pretty much buy the New York magazine profile of Sarah Palin, which lays out why she resigned her office; being governor of Alaska is a crummy, poorly-paying job, her family was going broke fighting legal bills, and she was getting offers she couldn’t refuse. It’s like being an Ivy League liberal arts major, getting offered a job at Goldman Sachs right out of college; it’s not what you came there to do, but how are you going to let that go? (Besides, it isn’t like you have to know a ton about what you’re doing; you’re there for who you are already.) Also, Palin could do the new math of GOP politics in her head — public office is less important than being a public figure, with a big platform. Or as Andrew says, “FNC commentator is the new Presidential candidate.”

Well, let’s try this equation: if it’s tough to be the governor of Alaska, how much harder does it have to be to be in charge of Afghanistan? What are the chances that you’re going to come out of this thing smelling like roses anyways? How can you remove yourself from that position while still coming off as an honorable, somewhat reluctant, but still passionate critic of the administration? And make a splash big enough doing it that it gets beyond policy circles and editorial pages? 

I have no idea whether it’s true, but it’s worth entertaining the possibility that the good general threaded the needle here.

 

On the internet

Go read Andrew Fitzgerald’s new collectively-directed short story. It is weird and wild—and Snarkmarket is threaded through it.

Random sample (the beautiful thing is that you can select almost any two grafs of Andrew’s story for this purpose):

In the popular children’s online role-playing game “Fur City”, a digital avatar named Mr. Tumbles, controlled by a 17-year-old Japanese girl in Osaka is pacing the cobblestone streets. He remembers it’s Tuesday and how much he loved last Tuesday. It was cupcake day at the Sugar Plum Bakery, and although Mr. Tumbles, the local calico kitten, was no fan of strawberry shortcake wrapped in ribbons and bows, he couldn’t deny that the rabbit-run bakery was paws and whiskers above any other establishment in Fur City. Today at the Sugar Plum Bakery it’s not cupcake day. The rabbits told him it was pancake day. But he knows it’s Tuesday. Something’s fishy in Fur City.

Something’s fishy on the whole Internet.

This is more than a big in-joke, though; the way it all wraps up is sincere and more than a little wonderful.

 

Andrew vs. the Collective

I think it says a lot about my friend Andrew’s Kickstarter project that you can describe it so many ways. For instance, yesterday I was one of the first people to tweet about it:

  • @robinsloan Wooo @magicandrew’s @kickstarter project is live! He’s writing a new story *every week* based on our contributions.

But mere moments later, I was bested:

  • @dsldsl Want a personal slave writer? Want to see a rapping cat? Want a great novel? If so, check out @magicandrew’s project.
  • @superkiy Great new project — Andrew vs. The Collective — @magicandrew thinks he can take all of us. let’s make him dance

Then, after sleeping on it:

  • @SaheliDatta Went to bed thinking of challenges for @magicandrew & had fantastic, crazy dreams. Get him with your imaginings.

So there you have it. I chose the NEMESIS backer level, for obvious reasons. Come aboard, Snarkmatrix. “Let’s make him dance.”