May 9, 2006
Thanks for the Intervention
I promise I don’t link to McSweeneys every time it updates:
Thank you for crying hysterically during the intervention and repeatedly shifting the attention to yourself. I’m not sure if that was intentional, but if it was, you are a true friend. A person can use a few breathers during such an intense meeting, and your sobbing jags and incomprehensible wailing really helped by raising serious questions about your own stability and obvious addiction to OxyContin—or whatever it was that spilled out of your purse during one of your many Kleenex expeditions.
So again, thanks.
P.S. Everyone in group here at the center is really looking forward to meeting you.