Wow, this is pretty ridiculous. Hard to believe someone would actually post something this sophomoric. Like deciding the next move in your journalism career is to reedit and publish your highschool poetry. If this is supposed to be a parody of Kerry's wordy tendencies, I don't think the joke carries the piece too far past the first sentence... This is the only part I liked:

"He still did Velcro his principles upon the cathedral door, and change them by the hour."

This is the quirkiest political op-ed piece I've read in a college paper in a long time, and one of the better ones to boot....

Hmm? What's that? The New York Times? Oh.

Dang.

Proof that an extended analogy does not actually constitute a good argument.

(That fallacy should have a Latin name, you know? "Dude, enough with the Beatles comparisons -- it's totally just ad similum.)