The murmur of the snarkmatrix…

August § The Common Test / 2016-02-16 21:04:46
Robin § Unforgotten / 2016-01-08 21:19:16
MsFitNZ § Towards A Theory of Secondary Literacy / 2015-11-03 21:23:21
Jon Schultz § Bless the toolmakers / 2015-05-04 18:39:56
Jon Schultz § Bless the toolmakers / 2015-05-04 16:32:50
Matt § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-05 01:49:12
Greg Linch § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 18:05:52
Robin § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 05:11:02
P. Renaud § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 04:13:09
Jay H § Matching cuts / 2014-10-02 02:41:13

Use the Force (When No One's Looking)

My former Current colleague OldschoolBrian shares this nerdy revelation:

When the train arrives on the platform, if I am the first person waiting to get on, I wait for the train to stop, then I raise my right hand to the level of my abdomen, extend my index and middle finger and slowly move it about 4 inches from left to right as the subway doors open. I do this to emulate the appearance that I have opened the subway doors using nothing but the shear will of my mind. People see me do this all the time. I don’t mind. I have been doing this for years. Still don’t mind. I do not do this upon exiting the train. BUT I DO, DO IT.

Go ahead, act like you don’t do some weird shit when you think no one is looking.

I’ve started to realize that I actually talk to myself a lot. I think I am pretty good at doing it only when no one is around, though. Not sure if that makes it better… or worse.

August 13, 2007 / Uncategorized


I’m so glad to read this. I wave my hand in a similar motion to open and close the elevator doors in my office building. Only when no one’s looking, of course. (Sometimes, once in the elevator car, I even raise my hand in an upward or downward motion in time with the elevator’s initial ascent or descent.)

Mike says…

I absolutely do the same for elevator doors. If I start the motion and others are in the elevator with me, I try to play it off with an exaggerated hand wave, as if “I don’t have time for the openings and closings of elevator doors!” I then hurry away.

Inner (and outer) nerd exposed.

I have no imagined Jedi powers, but I definitely talk to myself in public a lot, sometimes using several different voices. I pretty much only do it when I’m walking on the street and running through ideas/conversations in my head. I don’t do it indoors or on public transit, but when I do it on the street other people often hear me.

I also will say “woof” (occasionally “meow”) when passing most dogs on the street. I have a further embarrassing tendency to meet people on the street, talk to their dogs for a few minutes, walk off, and never once even look the person in the face.

I also still frequently adhere to a childhood fixation where I go to absurd effort to walk parallel to the grain of a wood floor or the pattern of a tiled walk or etc.

Which of these is the most weird? The Jedi door opening thing is up there I would say.

The snarkmatrix awaits you

Below, you can use basic HTML tags and/or Markdown syntax.