The murmur of the snarkmatrix…

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MsFitNZ § Towards A Theory of Secondary Literacy / 2015-11-03 21:23:21
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Greg Linch § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 18:05:52
Robin § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 05:11:02
P. Renaud § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 04:13:09
Jay H § Matching cuts / 2014-10-02 02:41:13

Banana Refuglic
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Cross-posted from the Beehive, ’cause I’m just that lame, sorry.

Tucked into The Fresno Bee‘s wire feed is this nugget — The Gap will be opening a new chain targeted to boomer women, called … wait for it … “Forth & Towne.”

From the press release:

“We created an address with the name ‘Forth & Towne,’

because we wanted it to evoke a sense of place — to signify a special

and unique shopping destination,” explained Gary Muto President, Forth & Towne. “‘Forth’ references our fourth brand, and ‘Towne’ conveys a sense of community that we want to create for our customers when they shop with us.”

Would it be snarky to point out that they misspelled both “fourth” and “town”? I’m sure they’ll correct that oversight by the store’s fall launch.

“Fitting rooms will be at the center of the store, with ‘neighborhoods’ of merchandise around them,” Gap CEO and President Paul Pressler told the AP.

Oh! Cu-ute! So the checkout counter will be sort of like ‘City Hall,’ and the sales racks will be the ‘crack slums,’ right? And instead of mopping the store, it’ll be like ‘neighborhood beautification’ or whatever. I can’t wait to shop there. Oh wait, I’m not a boomer woman. Totally forgot. Just over-enthusiastic.

In addition: Steve at the other snark blog points out that the F&T ampersand just dodges what would be a very unfortunate acronym, given the store’s target demographic.

April 21, 2005 / Uncategorized

10 comments

Oh Mattie. I do love you so. Why can’t I be there in person to hear you rant about this topic. Just thinking about your enunciation of “cu-cute” makes me happy.

Abby says…

Where is there going to be a Forth and Coming Store? Wil there be one in San Diego? Is there someone at Forth and Towne I can speak with? Thank you.

Jerrry says…

For your information, they mean forth as in one, second,third, forth…..So that means is corect. FORTH!!So who is the dumbass now?!?!?!

^ Current leading candidate for favorite Snarkomment.

Lauren says…

Is the post above me for real?! It is first, second, third, FOURTH, you dumbass. It’s not correct. Next time check your facts in the dictionary before you flame.

Monica says…

Go FORTH to the TOWNE of GAP in the REPUBLIC OF BANANNA. We need a new shopping concept like we need a hole in the head. Those little fingers in China are all going to be very busy. Whatever happened to good ole’ Union Made in the USA?

“Jerrry” from “OAL.com” is way hilarious. The sequence “one, second, third” is truly inspired. I’m not sure why he went with the formal “!!” and “?!?!?!” though, and not the more vernacular “!!!1111!1!!”. 🙂

Carolyn says…

Off topic, but cannot believe both gap.com and oldnavy.com are “temporarily closed” “to bring you a better shopping experience”. Do they not know it is back to school time? Do they expect me to haul my 3 little ones into a store? Lands End and LL Bean are getting my shopping $ today.

I’ve always been curious abt the stats — I’m sure these companies know them — re: how much money they lose for, like, every SECOND of downtime. For Amazon.com I’m sure it’s massive.

Becca says…

Forth and Towne is opening in Chicago (2 stores) and I believe Boston.

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