The murmur of the snarkmatrix…

August § The Common Test / 2016-02-16 21:04:46
Robin § Unforgotten / 2016-01-08 21:19:16
MsFitNZ § Towards A Theory of Secondary Literacy / 2015-11-03 21:23:21
Jon Schultz § Bless the toolmakers / 2015-05-04 18:39:56
Jon Schultz § Bless the toolmakers / 2015-05-04 16:32:50
Matt § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-05 01:49:12
Greg Linch § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 18:05:52
Robin § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 05:11:02
P. Renaud § A leaky rocketship / 2014-11-04 04:13:09
Jay H § Matching cuts / 2014-10-02 02:41:13

It's Funny Because It's True
 / 

I think the most successful Onion articles are the ones that make you go: “Ha ha ha ha! That is hilarious! And yet… not entirely implausible…”

Well, here you go.

I mean seriously, scroll down to Matt’s DARPA item and tell me you can absolutely, positively rule out the existence of a super-warrior championship.

That’s what I thought.


P.S.

“Warriors of the world, hear me,” said Rumsfeld, seated on the onyx throne overlooking the fighting arena at the island’s central volcano, surrounded by a phalanx of exotic but murderous beauties and his seven-foot-tall guard Omarra. “I declare the Eagle Fist all-styles, hand-to-hand combat world championship open once more. For the next 10 days, the world’s mightiest fighters will come together here at Fang Island to compete for a prize of $1 million and the post of Associate Secretary Of Full-Contact Defense!”

Rumsfeld then declared the tournament open by symbolically shattering a block of obsidian with his prosthetic dragon’s claw

March 17, 2004 / Uncategorized

One comment

it’s true, donald rumsfeld is a lethal fighting machine.

1000 Fighting Styles of Donald Rumsfeld

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