An Aging Audience
Little did I realize what a dramatic distinction Gore & Co. are making by aiming a news channel at young people.
In an Atlanta Journal-Constitution story about last night’s Democratic debate on CNN, Caroline Wilbert notes that the median age of CNN’s audience is… 61! Furthermore:
CNN is not the only cable network with gray hair. The median age of Fox News’ viewers is 60. And MSNBC, despite launching with a slick techie style during the dot-com boom, isn’t much different. The average age is 58.
Well, this completely freaks me out. It suddenly seems like the news channels are all operating in a parallel dimension. A dimension… where everyone is old.
Speaking of the Democratic debate: Anderson Cooper is clearly a synthetic newsdroid sent from the future to change the past. Whether it’s for good or for ill remains to be seen.
Fortunately, the effect of Anderson “Android” Cooper’s hypnotic plutonium eyes is somewhat negated by the fact that you can almost see the circuitry behind them. No matter how much the robot-man attempts to mimic emotion, that face is still a frightening void, before which all humanity will one day fall. *Shudder*
I hope Al Gore doesn’t decide to staff his new channel with artificially-intelligent androids. Or name it… SKYNET.